Monday, January 21, 2008

Stuff we did on our last weekend off...

Had a very unproductive weekend. Primarily, we laid around and did as little as possible. I had utterly no motivation to do anything and was unsuccessful at fighting it. Aside from some cursory Sirens work, all I really accomplished was watching a few movies. To wit:

Cloverfield: Okay, so we had to go out to see this one. At a packed theater in the South Side (and, yeah, Jordan, like I said - I ignored you because you don't call someone in a movie theater! Especially if you're in the same theater. It's an unwritten rule that should be friggin' written!) sitting three rows from the screen. I was pre-disposed to liking this because of the pretentious dick on NPR who disdained it's shaky camera and that it "didn't bring anything new to the giant monster genre". And true to my disposition, I liked it. A lot. Having spent the last decade watching backyard, no-budget movies, I barely noticed the shaky cam and thought, from a stylistic and thematic point of view, that the movie was a real success. To no surprise, the movie grossed a bushel of money, guaranteeing sequels galore, which I'm fine with. But since it's J.J. Abrams, I'm sure midway through the second installment, it'll all fall apart but we'll have too much invested to stop watching.

Transformers. Big, dumb, noisy. And ridiculously long. I missed it in the theater but, ironically, don't feel like I missed anything at all.

War. Jet Li vs. Jason Statham. And this is the best they could come up with? Lackluster story, uninspired action (Corey Yuen, what the hell happened to you?). Ridiculous, tacked-on ending. Bleah.

Hairspray. I was actually doing a bit of work while this was on but enjoyed it anyway. It didn't change my life, but the original didn't either. Fun. Not enough Christopher Walken. And someone should teach John Travolta the difference between a Baltimore accent and a Pittsburgh accent. It did make me miss Divine.

Brokeback Zombies. Jeff and Pam Fugate run Hell's Orphans, which I'm sure you've seen at countless conventions. They're two of my favorite people and they seem to be raising their child correctly (he'll be cannibalizing the mailman in no time). Their latest is a marked improvement over their first movies--and that isn't meant to be a back-handed compliment. I love watching filmmakers evolve. This is a fun romp with the undead but doesn't contain the man/male zombie love that the title implies, sadly. And Jeff gives the best performance in the movie. (There's a little testimonial by Lloyd Kaufman included. We spent a few minutes trying to figure out which con it was shot at. Twisted Nightmare? Monster Mania? No - finally, I figured it out: fucking Genghis Con II!)

Teen Ape Goes to Camp. Every time we run into Chris Seaver and the Low Budget Pictures gang, we end up with nine or ten of their latest movies, three of which were shot and edited prior to lunch. This was one of them. I'm not a Teen Ape fan, but this installment made me one. And it contained two of my favorite jokes: "Camp Idonwanna" and "Dude, Where's Mein Kampf?" I plan to use these both in casual conversation from now on.

Film Crew. Enjoying TAGtC as much as we did, we decided to make it a double feature (especially since something called Foot Ball pre-empted The Simpsons). Film Crew features some of my favorite LBP actors - Meredith Host Von Bonage, Jason McCall and Noel Neill - and one of my least favorite, Josh Suire, who has, on several occassions, made my flesh crawl clean off my bones. Josh, however, in both Film Crew and TAGtC, is hysterical. Granted, there was a level of safety involved - Josh was inside my TV where he couldn't hurt me. But, damn, he was funny as the demented Caspian. Although I suspect that Seaver based that character on Josh himself but couldn't find anyone else to play him that day.

All in all, it was a weekend well-spent. Except I couldn't figure out why, after a day of inactivity, I was so tired. Then I realized: I was relazed. It was a weird, alien feeling. Fortunately, it resulted in another bout of insomnia, so everything was back to normal.

The only announcement I have from the weekend is to tell everyone to run out and buy the new issue of Fangoria 270. I have another article in there, about the new 40th Anniversary documentary of Night of the Living Dead. AND there's an unprecidented (for us, anyway) 3-star/disc review of A Feast of Flesh, which made us feel all warm and fuzzy (like a lollipop left under the sofa). Run out and get it while you can - don't let there be a hole in your precious Mike Watt collection. Someday, there will be a museum. Sooner, rather than later, if I have any say in it.

Oh, and I'm turning old this coming Saturday. Send me gifts. Or, at least, condolences, but gifts are preferable. Go here and be generous.

Finally, Andy Copp's new blog is priceless. I've seen it before, but it bears repeating.

EDIT: New article posted on Film Threat about "the greatest western since Unforgiven". Read it HERE.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

First blog of 2008 is shameless shilling

So... the first official blog of 2008 is little more than a shill. It's been a wild 12 days so far, what with Tara and Dave's wedding, grinding away on the new issue of Sirens of Cinema, and... well, work and more work.

Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut is 99% complete. We're just waiting on voice over from - wait for it - Alan Rowe Kelly! Alan, writer and director of I'll Bury You Tomorrow and The Blood Shed, is lending his vocal talents to the movie as "Devora Simmons", the documentarian who is filming the insantiy of the making of Amy Lee Parker's Tesseract. Once Alan's v.o. is in, Splatter Movie will be ready for the selling. We have a short list of a half-dozen distributors we want to send it to - many of whom actually requested it, which is a nice change from just foisting our work on the unsuspecting.

While we're on the subject of Splatter Movie, if you haven't already done so, you should head on over to the official Splatter Movie Myspace page and check out the fourth and final Amy Lee Parker video blog, which ties directly into the film. (You have to be a friend of the page to view the video - no hacking, downloading or cracking, if you please!)

If this gets you sutably intrigued, you should also head over to Sirens of Cinema, plunk down $20 and receive not only four fantastic issues of the greatest magazine ever created but also the Splatter Movie Companion, a special DVD we created specificially for Sirens that ties in with our newest opus, providing more insight into this bizarre, gory and wonderful movie.

If that's not enough, we're going to soon announce places where you can catch Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut - screenings, film festivals, drive-by projections onto brick walls...

If you aren't suitably excited by now, check your pulse. You might have passed away just after clicking on this message (and using your final breath to check out my latest blog just brings a tear to my eye - thanks, friend!).

Other shills... uh, news: I feel it's my duty to remind you that Fangoria 269, currently on the stands, features a big article on Happy Cloud Pictures, so if you haven't picked that up yet, the terrorists truly have won.

Oh, and I've been added to the official guest line-up for April's Cinema Wasteland, the greatest show on Earth. I'm usually there, but the site makes me an official Important Guest. So there.

More news soon. Please find constructive ways to fill your time until then.