Moving Forward...

I spend much of my life in dread of the Big White X.

In the cartoons, that's the "x" painted on the ground where the anvil is intended to drop. Usually, a coyote is standing on the X, watching as the shadow grows above him - right before the inevitable "Wham!"

The problem with my Big White X is that I'm never quite sure when I'm standing on it - or how long that whistling sound will last before I realize I'm hearing it.

The future, to me, is something sharp and pointy and very, very heavy and rushing at me at a frightening speed. Always. It's not the change I fear, it's the impact that change will make. And the problems that come riding on its back.

As you've no doubt read from Amy's blog, after a month of finagling, chasing, begging and calling calling calling, I finally found an insurance agent that would provide us with th policy we were seeking in order to shoot Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut. We were seeking this to not only protect the owners of the Hundred Acres Manor and ourselves but also to insure--hence the word--that our friends and family would be protected in this unfamiliar locational space. If, Film Gods Forbid, someone would actually get hurt, we know now that they'd be taken care of.

For weeks, it was the runaround from this agent, the cold shoulder from that, an attempt at rip-off from the third. But today that came to an end. I even got an emailed proof-of-coverage to show the haunt's owners in case the policy takes a while to come via mail. So we're set to schedule, plan and finally shoot(!). Which is very exciting.

And I'm forcing my head to not look down. I don't want to see the X if I am standing on it. I know in the back of my mind that this was the inevitable conclusion to a very frustrating task, but I worry when things go smoothly - even if they hadn't up until this point.

This, my friends, is what is known as "being crazy".

So I'm trying to break myself of habitually feeling dread every time something goes my way. I'm trying very hard. Positive thinking was never a superpower I possessed. I'm trying to convince myself that sometimes things work out without incurring the wrath of the universe. In short, move onto the next dreadful task and celebrate that I can do so with all ten fingers.

And I understand, too, that there are plenty of new Herculean tasks to undertake - ever movie comes equipped with an endless number, naturally. So plan ahead and, as the cliche goes, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. And appreciate when something goes right.

And then turn around widdershins and spit on a rock, just to be safe.