Someone is spying on me...

It’s nice to know that people read me every once in a while. A few years ago, I wrote in this very blog that there are only two constants of the human race: 1.) All women are crazy; 2.) All men are stupid.


These two tenets are fun conversation starters at parties. But no one I know has every disagreed with me.

Now, I just read that ABC has a new sitcom in the works called Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid. Reeling from the unfairness of this—no check at all, ABC?—I read further to learn that there’s a book with this title by Howard Morris and Jenny Lee (Full title: “Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship”), published this past September.

Which led to further outrage! My God—a conspiracy to keep this white man down! I feel like Billy Blaze in Night Shift—“Wash ‘n drys. I had the idea for those. I ever tell you that? I invented them! Except they already had ‘em.”

Needless to say, I’ll be boycotting this show until Morris, Lee or someone from ABC formally apologizes to me and offers at least a loaf of fresh baked bread as means of making amends.