Friday, December 31, 2010

Mike's Picks for Best Top 10 Lists of 2010

And so we say good-bye to 2010. You had your highs, you had your lows. The Tea Party showed its muscle and BP took advantage of our oil addiction and tried to make us all O.D.

But all that is behind us now. 2011 is rife with possibilities. Sweet ambrosia, good karma, puppies and blow-jobs for all!

And what would an End-of-the-Year Round-Up be without a Top 10 List to ring out the Old Year? Empty and meaningless, I say. So without further ado, here is my official Top 10 List of Top 10 Lists of 2010:

On the last holiday of the year it’s important that we look back at some of the other great holidays, but especially everyone’s favorite: Halloween. And Halloween Express reminds us that kids look cute dressed as Buzz Lightyear and even the Green M&M is sexy with a babe crammed inside!

Yes, it’s almost a cliché to include Roger Ebert in a Ten Best Round-up, but he is our most valuable and valued film reviewer, a fact we can’t deny. Roger made the decision to break up his Top Ten into two lists, and while his Top Ten for domestic releases is entertaining, his Top Ten Foreign Films shines a spotlight upon a Top Ten we may not have been otherwise aware. Plus, by separating out the offerings of other countries, it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are a Global society.

Not content with a mere Top Ten Round Up, Time Magazine gives us fifty Top Ten lists through which we can relive 2010 and say “that was the year that was”. My favorites of the Top 10 of Everything are a tie between the Top Ten Under-reported stories (Five million people raped in the Congo? Five million? Who knew?) and the Top Ten Tweets, highlighting the wit and wisdom of such luminaries as John McCain (who swears he’d never tax your tanning bed) and the ever-ubiquitous Lindsay Lohan. is a one-stop shop for all answers and they rounded up their most hard-hitting headlines about getting from here to there via flying phone booth. For my money, they could have condensed it all to their number one slot regarding the Icelandic volcano eruption grounding flights for days on end. Their title: “Pain in the ash”! That’s just good hindsight.

The pessimists among us would rather remind us about all the endangered species that went horribly extinct this year, but ASU is filled with forward-looking optimists. We may have seen the last of the Zanzibar Leopards, but science has discovered the “Bug Eating Slug”, and that fills my heart with hope.

Though you have to sit through an ad to watch a video that originally ran on Broadcast Television covering the most-watched free video clips, ABC’s focus on the lighter and fluffier side of 2010 is a breath of fresh air, truly. We’re all so busy mourning the loss of the Gulf that we sometimes forget to remember the beauty that is the Old Spice Guy. Although one can’t help but feel a twinge that there was no pardon granted Billy the Kid after all these years. Americans, we can’t keep holding on to old grudges!

ABC offers only one commercial. TV Squad gives you Ten! The most entertaining consumerist moments of the roundest-numbered year so far include the E-Trade Baby, Kevin Bacon playing the ultimate Kevin Bacon fan (never once mentioning Forty Deuce, surprisingly) and, of course, our old friend the Old Spice Guy.

While not technically a Top Ten List, Cinematical’s critique of Stephen King’s Top Ten for Entertainment Weekly is a Top Ten in and of itself. It’s an in-depth account of the Top Ten of a man who’s seen more than his share of Top Ten lists.

It’s not something we like to think about, but if we don’t, woe be unto us. Trip Advisor saves us the trouble of packing the blacklight on our trip and brings us advanced warning. Under no circumstances should anyone stay at the Heritage Marina Hotel in San Francisco. The carpet needs replacing and there are conflicting reports of bed bugs!

Although it sounds like yet another warning, this time against marauding hoards of digital readers, it’s really a thoughtful gazing at the best electronic devices available to man. If you’re not reading this Top Ten Top Ten on one of these, way to go: the terrorists have won!

So there you go, folks. I’m sure you all have your own personal favorite Top Ten of 2010, and you should! But this is mine. And come midnight, wouldn’t it be nice if we all took a few moments to pause and remember what makes these Top Tens so wonderful. Is it the memories? The emotions we feel when reliving the events as listed? Or is it the sharing of these Top Ten Lists with loved ones? However you like to list your Top Ten at the end of each year, remember to do so responsibly and safely. And here’s to a very Happy Top Ten of 2011!

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